Had a new student come in last week who's friends with the Florida kunts. You know, the medi-sluts from the summer. Apparently one of the teachers made him swear he wouldn't tell me that he's friends with them cuz if he did I'd "eat him alive." Lolz well he's actually a pretty cool dude albeit a bit of a princess. We went out one of his first nights here and grabbed a few drinks. He went to the bathroom and when he came back mentioned how unique and ostentatious the sink was in the bathroom. "Yeah, it's like a waterfall sink with an exposed pipe cascading water down this wall. Hmm, I wondered. Went to the bathroom myself. Bahaha almost pissed myself when I saw what he was talking about. The "exposed pipe" was dripping water into a tiled trough. "Yeah dude, you just washed your hands in the urinal."
I mean sorry, this isn't South Beach. We don't have trendy waterfall sinks in Guatemala. Just a pipe that someone haphazardly drilled holes into to wash the piss and vomit down the drain.
We went to a Xelaju soccer game last weekend which was quite unbelievably awesome if you ask me. The four of us spent the afternoon boozing at my place and then stumbled over the stadium. Testicle Tuesday what a spectacle. First, off the food and drinks are the same price as outside the stadium. Food stands with heat lamps and bright neon signs don't exist. Instead, open flames grilling all kinds of food abound beneath the bleachers. As for the stadium, think about the new Yankees Stadium or Dallas Cowboys crib and then imagine the exact opposite. Dirt floors, no Jumbotron and loonies lighting off fireworks in the crowd. Xela won 2-0, omggg like yeaaaaah i was soooo exciiiiiited. Anyway, back to important stuff - had the second dinner outside of the stadium, called a shuko. Essentially it's a meat monster on a bun - 3 kinds of sausages covered in guac, cheese and bacon. Bumblebee tuna hit me wit dat foo.
In the absence of Colbert or Jon Stewart down here I've been watching tons of Fox News. Warning: if you actually watch Fox News to obtain your news and worldly opinions you should stop reading here. And in fact, you probably shouldn't even read my blog because I doubt we'd get along on most things.
For starters, what a hero this Sean Hannity guy is. He must have some of the most maniacally-twisted, misguided, imbecile opinions I have ever heard. And why do all the female anchors on Fox News look like cheap strippers? Sure I'd prob toss them a few GW's to take their tops off but that certainly does not mean that what they say is of any value. Oh and don't even get me started with that obnoxioulsy faked-tanned oompa loompa that was covering the RNC. Like WTF? How can the Fox News team really espouse such myopic, naive opinions about the economy and financial health of the country? Right, we have 8% unemployment. Spain has 25%. Sure, not a fair comparison but who really believes that by farting mormonic rainbows and outlawing abortion we'll reduce unemployment to 0%? How can you even believe that 0% unemployment is possible? What are you six? That said, I'm looking forward to 10/3. I hope Obama takes a dump on that guy's chest. En espanol, espero que Obama se cargue encima del pecho de ese hueco.
Good talk, vaya con dios.
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