altar boy, destroying the death star, different view from the fish bowl

I feel more comfortable everyday here.  Thuper friendly people and the city's charm continues to grow.  Had a late night meal of pupusas (one of cheese, the other of chicarrone) with fries.  OMG.  And for like $2.  My group of friends has stayed strong amidst the influx of new students.  We do something generally every night be it movie night, bar hopping or just general dicking around the city.

A lot of the new kids, "los otros" as we call them have been getting on my nerves.  A group of Florida med students oozed into the school a couple weeks ago and their mindset couldn't be more opposite than ours.  They decided to come here to avoid doing research over the summer and are just looking for a good time.  They're obnoxious both in and out of the classroom and have 0 interest in learning the language.  To top off the strawberry shortcake, these stupid kunts won't stop complaining about Guatemala.  Like what did you think you were getting yourself into?  I'm soooo sorry you have to speak spanish in this country and that there aren't any tanning salons here.  WTF are you here!?!?  You should have just kept your Southern beat, cracked-leather self in Florida and learned Spanish at Epcott Center.

But I digress.  Phew.  My teacher, Norma, has been great and I've requested to hold on to her for a while (otherwise you rotate weekly).  She's kinda like a teacher, mother, sister, psychologist, prison warden and nanny all packed neatly into 1 tiny 40-year old body.  She took me to get shekas (sp?) the other day, bread filled with frijol or queso fresco...yeaaah.

You know, I didn't know too much about Guatemala before coming here.  I mean sure, I knew the country was poor with minimal infrastructure and that it was south of Mexico.  That's about it.  So I assumed that I'd get my feet wet with my aquaponics project but at the end of the day food security wasn't a huge deal here.  When we do manage to get news about hunger/starvation/nutrition in the U.S. it's almost always pictures of starving kids in Africa followed by a clip 10x as long about is Shakira pregnant or not (seriously, her bf's f'ing lucky) and the only news from down South is drugs and dismembered bodies.

Anyway, my studies were focused on employing aquaculture to mitigate pervasive droughts and alleviate protein/caloric deficiencies in Africa and I had never heard much about Central America.  Well, I was wrong.  And yeah, I don't readily admit that.  Almost everyday there's an article in the paper about severe malnutrition and chronic hunger in Guatemala.  In talking to locals here, towns just hours away from Xela are rife with starving children and parents that can't produce steady crops from their land, withering away.

Ecclesiastes 1:18 - "For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief." 

You know, I had been thinking for a while about just flushing my social venture dreams away.  The more I continued to investigate these issues and work on creating solutions, the more daunting it seemed.  And it's so easy to feel futile in this god-forsaken world.  I thought, perhaps I should just quit now and hustle through life, working odd jobs and just keep traveling, enjoying MY life as I wanted to until the inevitable happened and I returned to dust.  Death, after all, is the only certainty in life, so why not just life the dream, MY dream, until the sand ran out?  But still, a part of me remained keen on social ventures, to ensure that I leave this place better than when I arrived.

Then I had a dream about my deceased friend.  We talked for a bit, on Locust Walk at Penn, and I asked him why he left us.  We were supposed to work on solving these problems together.  He was gonna finish his PhD, move to Africa, and we could work together at erasing hunger, disease, etc. together.  I woke up with a renewed sense of purpose, determination.

I don't want to sound melodramatic - it wasn't like Obi Wan's spirit was whispering to feel the force as I lined up my proton torpedos to destroy the Death Star.  But it did help straighten me out and kick my lingering doubt to the curb like an annoying ex-gf.  I can't just be a wayward jellyfish drifting aimlessly through the sea of life (lolzzz deep eh).  So moral of the story, I think I'll stay in Guate longer than I had anticipated.

I had my "sister's" confirmation yesterday so I got to get all dressed up and what not.  First time in church in years.  I've changed.  Church hasn't.  Why do they always have to harp on the same no-no's of drinking, drugs and premarital sex??  Sure, tell me not to kill or steal or something, but don't tell me I can't do all the fun things.  I already have a doctor to tell me that.  And besides, last time I checked, the 10 Commandments doesn't include "Thou shall not blaze trees."  Well, regardless, it was a ruvry day and we feasted on this Guatemalan meatloaf concoction that had like 8 different kinds of meat which made it all worth it.

Well, that's pretty much it for this week.  Still working on OFOG and it's site, so more news to come on that front.  Headed to the beach next weekend which obvi I'm thuper duper excited about.

Vaya con Dios, braah.